(AP) Redmond Washington. After a much heralded launch, the buzz around Microsoft’s launch of Windows 8.0 is centered on the fact that when the computer crashes that users will no longer see the blue screen of death. Instead, users will now see a friendly screen requesting that they restart their systems.
“Which is why we have decided to close the company at the start of 2012,” said CMO Droid Nelson. “I mean when you spend two hundred million dollars just to market 8.0 and the only chatter is about the crash screen, the time has come. We have not offered anything of interest to early adopters since 1997. After all, what are we supposed to do? If we continue on at this rate sooner or later we will hold a news conference for Windows 17.0 and Office 2024 and nobody will care.”
“How many times can we put a new ribbon around the same old software? It is not like we can make it run any faster or any easier to navigate. And Office is still Office. When was the last time we added anything to that suite? Most of our customers already cannot use half of the features we built, why should we keep building until we get that figure up to eighty percent?”
“The innovation train left the station around the time Starbucks came out with their half-caf-decaf with a double shot. We made ourselves irrelevant. Hell, I use an iPad and Google Docs.”
Can you name what Microsoft launched the last time you were willing to tailgate to be the first one to own it? Nobody can.
Can you name the last time your customers were willing to tailgate to be the first one to purchase your firm’s newest offering? Didn’t think so.
The thing to remember about new and improved is that it isn’t either. If it was so brand spanking new, you wouldn’t have to tell anyone.
New is not a feature.
Improved is not a feature.
When Apple launched the first iPod their pitch was something along the lines of every song you every wanted to listen to in this little box.
Customers stand in line for innovation. Is there a line outside your door?
